The Y Chromosome and Instructions

Okay, so we all know that "real men" wouldn't dare stop and ask for directions, much less actually pick up the instruction manual for a child's toy to figure out how it works ~ I guess they all must think that they are smarter than said toy so instructions aer of no use! For Christmas Hunter got a Creepy Crawler Bug Maker Oven ~ what more could a little boy ask for! Anyway, I came home one day, within a few days of Christmas, and Scott had gotten the oven out, filled the molds up, put it in the oven, and turned it on. When I got there he informed me that the oven didn't appear to be working ~ not realizing at the time that he hadn't dared to pick up the instruction sheet, I took his word for it since the oven indeed did not appear to be working. I returned said bug maker for a new one a few days later and brought it home and put it away ~ figuring Hunter had so many new things already we would just stash that for a little later. Yesterday he wanted to get the bug oven out and cook up a few before we left ~ so I pulled the oven out, plugged it in, and turned it on the make sure that it worked before I filled up the molds ~ guess what, the oven again didn't appear to work. I thought, you've got to be kidding me! This one doesn't work either? So being the double X chromosome that I am, I went and got the instruction sheet and right on the front in HUGE letters there is a picture of a light bulb and the words "how to install the light bulb (not included) and prepare your creepy crawlers maker for use". Damn man eyes! I did just as the instructions said and guess what, the oven now works! So in short, there wasn't a damn thing wrong with the first oven either, other than a man had attempted to set it up!

Departure Update

Well you notice it is Tuesday and I am still posting which much mean we are still here! Dad was cleared by the eye surgeon yesterday to leave, so that is a least no longer an issue. Mom called last night to say that Dad had agreed that Tuesday was really just too lofty a goal, so why not postpone it until Wednesday ~ wise decision old man! So figuring that we truly are leaving tomorrow I have finished packing us up, so now all we have to do is wait for our chariot to arrive tomorrow and load it up! I think I have set this up to be able to post via text and email ~ if I have truly managed to accomplish this then I will post again when we stop in Junction! Wish me luck!

Memorial Weekend ~ Better Late Than Never!

Hunter and his new best friend!

Aren't we a motley crew?

We had a very busy Memorial weekend ~ my sister called on Thursday because Wilson wanted to invite Hunter to come up and hang out ~ I'm really glad I wasn't face to face when she said this because I am fairly confident that I had a completely dumbfounded look on my face which would have probably hurt her feelings ~ I was taken by surprise by the invitation to say the least. In Lee's world little kids are nothing but walking, talking, petri dishes (although I think I may have to agree with her on this one given the number of times I have been sick so far this year) ~ she is also a NEUROTIC picker upper ~ so the fact that little people leave a trail of stuff everywhere they go does her in! Although big people who leave a trail behind them also does her in ~ so I guess you can't say that is a little people prejudice. Wilson doesn't have kids either, so they're just not accustomed to having them around and dealing with them and the noise that comes along with them ~ they live in a lovely quiet world! Hunter thinks Wilson is the cat's meow, so he was quite excited to be invited! Anyway, we had plans to go to a crawfish boil on Saturday, but said that we would get up and come Sunday morning ~ they live on Lake Livingston which is about 2 hours or so from here. We loaded up in the morning and were there before lunch ~ really a very pretty place. I haven't ever been to Lake Livingston before and it is much nicer than Conroe ~ still pretty serene, where Conroe is bumper to bumper boats, jet skis, and houses. The weather was beautiful ~ Wilson got out and mowed the bocce ball court, and then proceeded to paint the lines in the right places so Hunter could play. Keep in mind that he is a landscape architect so nothing is done half ass ~ instead of just spraying the lines by sight, he pulled out the string to ensure they were straight! Only an architect! Across the street from there house is some vacant property that they lease and this is where Wilson's huge garden is and where Rio (the horse) and his horse friend Winston live. Hunter had so much fun getting to go over there and harvest stuff from the garden ~ we had green beans with dinner that night that Hunter picked ~ Their lot is HUGE so there was plenty of room for the kids to run around. There is also a beach ~ so instead of there being just a bulkhead that drops off into the water there is an honest to god beach that the kids had a blast playing on. Well, Maisie didn't so much enjoy the beach when she toppled off the bulkhead and landed on her head on said beach! We were getting ready to go out into the lake and float so I had put her life jacket on her ~ you know they have that weighted thing at the back of the head on infant vests to flip them over the right direction should they fall in ~ well let me just say that life jacket weighs damn near as much as Maisie does ~ anyway, I had put the jacket on her while she stood in the grass near the edge of the bulkhead and then I turned around to grab something and let her go and over the edge she went! Lee was standing right there too ~ Maisie was in the middle of both of us and yet neither one of us could grab her before she hit the sand! When I say she landed on top of her head I'm not kidding ~ there was a spot in the sand where her head had gone into it! Poor kid! Thank god she wasn't hurt! We went out and floated in the lake for a little while and then came back in because a storm was undoubtedly coming across the lake ~ made it back inside and got everything picked up just in time! It rained for the rest of the night ~ fortunately we had the entire day before it rolled in. Wilson cooked the most delicious meat I have ever eaten for dinner ~ he has a water smoker, something I had never heard of, and used it to cook some back strap ~ now normally I don't eat just plain old game, it has to be cut 50/50 with beef or pork for me to get rid of that wild taste ~ Lee soaks it in water until there is no more blood and then marinates it ~ man it was AWESOME! It surpassed the smoked sirloin at Texas Land and Cattle and that is by far my favorite carnivore meal ever! The next day Hunter had about 16 hours worth of activities planned to cram into about 4 hours! We were heading to Liberty for the day to the place Scott hunts to ride 4-wheelers and attend a party there so we had to get moving. Hunter opted to spend what time he had left at the lake on a boat ride ~ Wilson owns one of every big boy toy there is ~ so we put Maisie back into her death suit ~ let me say that she remembered the traumatic events that unfolded the day before because of that thing ~ and off we went. We packed up and headed off for the ranch when we left there ~ hung out for the day ~ Maisie is a real 4-wheeler riding mama ~ and then came back that night to get ready for life back in reality on Tuesday! Had a great weekend ~ Lee has been on me about not posting about our trip to the lake ~ I think Wilson secretly enjoys being the star of my blog ~ so I figured I had better get this posted before we are never invited back! Maybe we can go back later this summer and spend the entire weekend ~ Hunter would be convinced that he had indeed died and gone to heaven! So Lee and Wilson thanks for a great time ~ we'll be watching the mail for our next invite!

Still Here

Thought I would post a few things that needed to be caught up on before the big road trip! In theory, we were supposed to have departed by now ~ last week actually, but my Dad had cataract surgery about a month ago that did not go as planned, so we have been waiting on him to recover before taking off. Certainly don't want to get out in the middle of nowhere and decide that he needs serious medical attention! He has another appointment today and if it looks good then we are planning on heading out tomorrow ~ mom said that is an awful lofty goal, but she didn't have the heart to tell him that! Yesterday I got Hunter all packed up ~ all of his crap took up an ENTIRE bag! That's what happens when you are going to a climate that requires different dress throughout the day ~ I can already tell you I could NEVER live there! I like to know that what I put on in the morning is going to be sufficient for the ENTIRE day until I crawl into bed! Phooey on that cold in the morning only to warm up to shorts weather by lunch and then go back to being cold as soon as the big ball of fire in the sky slips below the horizon! So we all have to pack both summer and winter gear (luckily I found 4 pair of pants that still have the knees) ~ still about 38 in the mornings (yikes!) ~ and I also packed him some 4-wheeler clothes so he doesn't ruin his good stuff while he's out being a boy! Scott took Hunter and my dad's 4 wheelers over there yesterday and got them all packed up in the trailer ~ more like stuffed them all into the trailer he said ~ good thing they fit! When we are truly leaving my parent's will drive over here to get us and all of our stuff and then off on the open road we go. We are going as far a Junction the first night ~ our stops have been determined by where there is a horse hotel ~ I had no idea there was such a thing until now, and then day 2 of this adventure ends in Amarillo ~ after that I haven't a clue where we go. We are taking 4 days to get there ~ yes, you read that right, 4 days! The theory being that you can't go as fast while pulling a trailer, the horses need to get out, and the kids are only going to make so many hours a day being pinned in the car. Will probably work out best for all of our sanity ~ at least once you are no longer behind the wheel you can drink heavily to forget about the day you've just had and prepare yourself for what lies ahead! Scott informed me that we would not be taking 4 days to get back home ~ I told him I had no intentions of taking more than a day to get back! The plan for our return is to head out around 5:00 in the afternoon and just keep on going ~ let the little people slip into a coma in the car and keep on rolling. I will try and post some while we are gone ~ I am going to set my phone up, I think, so that I can post via text. Maybe by doing that I can post a little something should I accidentally find some cell service! No promises, you may just have to wait until July!

I'm Baaaaack......

Alright, so once again I have not fallen off the face of the earth ~ or maybe I did since I seem to be having some issues accounting for my whereabouts these last couple of weeks! It's really all just one big blur at this point in time! I figure I had better get back to blogging before I do make a run from civilization in about 3 weeks! We are going to a place that DOESN'T have Internet access or cell phone service, and the TV is very limited!!!!! Seriously????? Who knew such a place existed????? I am either going to be relaxed to the point of drooling by the end of this trip or dealing with a major case of the shakes from technology withdrawal! Where exactly is this elusive place I speak of? The home of the Rocky Mountains, The Miners' Banquet Beer, Asssspen (from Dumb and Dumber for those of you not up to par on your movie lines) ~ Colorado my friend. Okay, so obviously the entire state does not live in the technological dark ages ~ geez I have 2 friends on Facebook who reside there so obviously they have access ~ but the place where we will be does not boast these amenities ~ the town itself does, but of course we will be out in deliverance country where there is nothing! Why Colorado you ask? Well, it goes a little something like this ~ the summer heat around these parts is getting to be too much for my dad, so I guess this is their version of becoming "snowbirds". My parent's have rented a house in Colorado for the summer, so the kids and I are packing up and moving to Colorado with them for a month! In all honesty, I think we were really only invited to drive the 2nd car that will be pulling the 2nd trailer that is going! The house is on something like 50 acres and has stables and all of that jazz so my mom is going to pull her horse and possibly take Wilson's horse as well ~ when asked why she was going to bring Rio she said so that I would have a horse to ride ~ ummmm hello? Have you met me? And seriously, what am I going to do with Maisie while I am out riding said horse? Put her in the backpack and saddle up? I have ridden a horse 2 times in my life ~ once through the rain forest in Costa Rica (during college), and once a couple of years ago while Hunter was at riding lessons because there was an extra horse to ride. Cowgirl I am not! I far prefer my mode of transport to have shocks and A/C! The 2nd trailer that is going will contain the 4 wheelers for my dad and the kids (my niece is going as well) so they can spend their days riding the trails and all of these 50 acres. So if this really plays out that the kids and my dad spend their days out 4 wheeling that will certainly make for a quiet house ~ if they instead spend their every waking minute around this technologically desolate house I think I will instead take up drinking heavily and then check myself into The Betty Ford Clinic when we get back! Did I mention that after about 3 days together Hunter and my niece do nothing but fight? Should make for a pleasant stay ~ I was unaware of these arrangements when I agreed to go. I was also going to have to bring my niece back in the car with me when we leave ~ I have since been informed that she will be flying back home ~ good thing ~ otherwise I feel I would be forced to tie one of them to the luggage rack on the way back ~ and since we know you love your own children better than anyone else's that means my niece loses and had better dress warmly for her ride home! Can you imagine anything more unpleasant than putting 3 kids in the car who have been together for a solid month to drive across 3 states? Oh good god! Makes me need a drink just thinking about it! So what am I going to do for a month in solitude while my boy is off riding the trails with my dad, and my mom is out riding her horse? Well, I do still have another child to care for ~ but when I find myself with some time on my hands I think I just may catch up on my scrapbooking and possibly even read a book ~ I have borrowed a copy of My Sister's Keeper that I hope to actually have time to read. Scott is going to come join us our last week there and then we will pack up and head home with him to continue our busy summer! It's either going to be a lot of fun or a month of pure misery ~ I'm hoping for the first! My parent's and I get along just fine ~ if my dad gets out of line we can always dispose of him in a shallow grave somewhere in all of that nothingness ~ I'm far more concerned about Hunter and my niece fighting. Wish me luck!

8 Years and 2 Kids Later......

Today Scott and I have been married for 8 solid years! Unfortunately, I can't figure out for the life of me how to make my new all in one printer work (damn wireless technology!) which means I can't scan any of our wedding photos in to share ~ too bad, you wouldn't believe how much SMALLER Scott's forehead was back then! I was a child bride ~ had just turned 25 and he was 28. We were married at my parent's house on the beach and after the ceremony partied like we had never seen booze before! My brother had picked me up for breakfast early that morning ~at said breakfast he informed me that although he liked Scott, he would still kick his ass if he ever made me cry ~ he has ALWAYS been my protector! After breakfast we went to get my nails done, or should I say re-done ~ I had them done the day before, but ruined them at our crawfish rehearsal dinner ~ lesson learned! After that it was back to the house where my hairdresser was waiting for me and all of my bridesmaids ~ let the booze flow begin! I had cut myself off before the ceremony figuring it was best that I was actually able to walk down the aisle ~ however when I was waiting to go out and started pacing like a caged animal one of my bridesmaids and college friend ran out to get me another beer ~ now that's a friend! The groom and all of his groomsmen had been out taking shots of Blanton's to calm him! One of the groomsmen ~ who shall remain nameless ~ who normally doesn't drink was also taking part in this nonsense ~ there is photographic evidence of him crawling out of the oleanders later that night where he had been barfing in the bushes! It really just went downhill from there ~ although I am fairly confident that a good time was had by all who attended ~ it was anything but a stuffy affair! I have many favorite pictures from this night, but I think one of the VERY best is one of me as we were leaving in my dad's 1927 Mercedes replica and I was holding my beer in my teeth as I hiked my dress up to get in the back ~ talk about lady! The next day I had one of the WORST hangovers of my life ~ shocking I know! I was at least smart enough not to book our flight for the day after the wedding ~ instead I had booked us on a Monday flight ~ smarter than the average bear I am! Once I managed to get my head out of the toilet and keep it out, we called someone to come pick us up from Scott's house, drive us through Whataburger for some much needed hangover curing greasy food, and went to my parent's to help clean up. The next day we headed to the airport for our honeymoon at Disney and other Orlando attractions. Last year we spent our 7th anniversary at Disney with our 2 beautiful kids ~ this year while we aren't there on the "official" day, we are there close enough to it ~ maybe we should wear some of those bride and groom mouse ears?

Scott and I have been together for 10 1/2 years now ~ I knew 6 months after we started dating that he was the one I was going to marry ~ I remember telling my dad that one day while we walked on the beach. My parent's couldn't be more pleased with my selection ~ after all, he got me out of their hair didn't he? When Scott decided to stop working offshore after 8 years and move into the office he asked me one day what I thought about it ~ I told him that I guessed it was okay ~ after all once upon a time we used to like each other so surely somewhere deep down we still did! He came back with "yeah, somewhere deep, deep, deep down!" ~ it's reasons like this that I love him ~ he can always make me laugh! He has been in the office for 2 years now and we're still married ~ guess somewhere deep down we did still like each other! I love you Scott and I look forward to many more years of memories with you!

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

Okay so I am FINALLY getting around to posting about Easter ~ I've been busy, what can I say! My sister called me the other day to tell me I needed to change the wallpaper on my blog, that Easter was over ~ shows how long it has been since my last post!

The kids and I went to my parent's house on Saturday to color eggs ~ we have yet to actually color eggs at our own house ~ I'm not an egg eater and neither are the kids, so I guess I don't see the point of having real eggs here ~ I'd far rather have the delicious candy filled type! Anyway, Scott did not join us on the adventure as he stayed here to assemble the new playhouse the Easter Bunny was delivering! Now mind you, this assembly was not without bitching to go along with it ~ that started when he had to go go Toys R Us to pick up said playhouse because the box was sooooo big it wouldn't fit in my car (I drive a Sequoia) ~ it was a damn big box! The next comment was "since when does the Easter Bunny deliver something the size of a f 'ing kitchen cabinet?" ~ okay he had me on that one. My theory was since Maisie really didn't get much for her birthday or Christmas (might as well be one in the same) because she didn't need anything that I would get this now. It was something I was going to buy, so I figured there might as well be a holiday associated with it rather than just going out and buying them an expensive toy just because. So while the kids and I were gone, Scott went and claimed the house from my friend Maxine's garage where it was being stashed and brought it back to his bunny lair to assemble it ~ needless to say the kids and I didn't come home until well after dark!

The egg coloring went well ~ Maisie had a great time coloring the eggs by holding onto one while dipping it in the dye ~ she was rainbow colored when it was all said and done. My dad had bought more elaborate dye for Hunter and my niece to use ~ some that you tie dyed, some that you stamped, and some the you rolled paint on ~ I can assure you that when we were little and coloring eggs there was only 1 type of dye that was purchased and we were told to share it! We put old t-shirts on them so they wouldn't ruin their clothes ~ makes clean up pretty easy too!

Sunday morning when Hunter woke up he came running into our bedroom so excited that the bunny had stopped by ~ we asked him how he knew and he said because he had left baskets for he and Maisie ~ he hadn't yet noticed to rather large playhouse sitting in the backyard. When he came out of our bedroom though he saw it and I heard his hands hit the windows and he screamed "oh my gosh, he brought us a house!". We went and got Maisie up and the adventure began. She knew just what to do with her bucket ~ threw it over her arm like a purse and headed outside ~ after she ate a piece of Laffy Taffy mind you (this was about 8 A.M.). Hunter was off like a flash collecting eggs and we told him he needed to collect the ones that were high up and leave the low ones for Maisie ~ he ended up getting most of them though because she was far more interested in eating the candy she found in the eggs rather than going to get another one ~ did I mention she had 3 pieces of Laffy Taffy before breakfast (I guess that was breakfast!)?! We hung out around the house for a little while and they played in their new house and then it was time to head across town.

At my parent's house there was another egg hunt ~ I was the acting E.B. and FORGOT to hide the eggs they had colored the day before ~ told you I don't like eggs, I was looking out for the delicious candy filled ones! However, nobody noticed my little slip up until we were leaving that afternoon and I realized I hadn't done it ~ I went back in the house and scored a dozen for Scott since he is an egg eater ~ figured my dad really didn't want 3 dozen eggs all to himself! After all of the egg hunting was complete we boiled crawfish and feasted until we could feast no more! All in all it was a lovely day and such a great treat to watch the kids hunt the eggs ~ I remember Bryan and I used to be rolling around in the yard over the Cadbury Cream eggs ~ we would go for those first and then go back for the rest of the haul ~ I told my dad I was VERY disappointed in the E.B. on that side of town as there was not a Cream Egg to be had ~ damn it man! Guess there's always next year ~ wonder of the E.B. takes requests?

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