Nature

Hunter with his new pets on cage cleaning day ~

they really enjoy hanging out in the yard ~

could probably do without that kid though!

Our humble little abode has grown by 8 feet ~ and no, I don't mean I'm pregnant with quads! The week before Christmas one of Santa's little elves knocked on the door while Hunter was at school ~ okay so maybe that's not what really happened, but that's the story we're sticking too! All Hunter knows is what we tell him ~ and the lie for this event is that there isn't room for pets and toys on the sleigh, so the elves deliver the pets 1 week before Christmas ~ hey sounds lame, but he believes it! So what really happened goes something like this ~ Hunter has been asking, begging, pleading for a guinea pig since he was 3. At the time when he first started talking about one he had just turned 3 and informed me that he wanted one but couldn't have one yet because you had to be 4 to have a guinea pig ~ I told him I thought that was a good age and left it at that figuring he had a loooooong way to go before turning 4 and would soon forget about this guinea pig dream ~ ha! I really should have considered the prospect that I was dealing with the kid who has the memory of an elephant ~ when he turned 4 he asked where his guinea pig was not that he was of age ~ I was 5 months pregnant at the time so I told him that I felt fairly confident that I shouldn't be cleaning out a guinea pig cage while harboring a little being within ~ and that I was afraid Sophie would eat said pig ~ he seemed to take that in stride and said well maybe when I'm 5. So he turns 5 and again asks where is his guinea pig ~ mind you every time he has been in Petsmart with me he always stops to admire the guinea pigs ~ and I told him I thought it was best of we waited until after Sophie died to get one ~ his next question was "when is Sophie going to die?" ~ my answer of probably no time soon was not the answer he was looking for. So there is a Yahoo women's group here in the neighborhood that I am on and people are always posting things for sale or to give away amongst other things ~ the week before Christmas someone posted a single guinea pig and all of his belongings free to a good home ~ I contacted the lady about the pig but somebody had already snatched him up. The very next day there was another guinea pig post only this time it was for 2 free pigs and all of their belongings. I was the first to contact this lady and so just like that the pigs were mine! I told her that I would take them on a trial basis to see if the dogs were going to try and have them as appetizers and if so I would be returning them. Guinea pigs are not a cheap investment ~ I believe each pig is about $30 at Petsmart and then you have the cage, pigloo, water bottle, etc. on top of that so to get it all for free was a real score ~ if you're in the market for a pig that is ~ yet another reason I didn't want to invest in a pig just in case the dogs decided to make a pu pu platter out of them. I dropped Hunter off at school and headed off to retrieve our new pets ~ brought them home and the dogs could have cared less ~ they were obviously here to stay. One is a calico that Hunter has named Colorful and the other is a 9 point something (all it means is he has bed head all the time) who is brown and appropriately named Brownie. I have to admit they are pretty cute ~ I forgot to give them their breakfast one morning so they sat there whistling at me until I brought it ~ just what I really need, 2 more demanding things in this house!

Now both of the pigs are males, but as with all animals there must be a hierarchy ~ apparently Brownie is the man and Colorful is his bitch ~ I say this based on the repetitive prison raping that was occurring yesterday. This constant, and I mean constant, raping that was taking place really had Hunter concerned about them "fighting" (I love the innocence of a 5 year old) ~ so concerned that he pulled Colorful out in an effort to save him ~ no joke it was so constant that when Scott got home he inserted a partition into the cage to make the horndog leave his bitch alone ~ the horn dog proceeded to try and gnaw through the metal shelf partition. He obviously needs a conjugal visit to release some of that pent up frustration! When it was time to put the pigs to bed we removed the partition so we could put their pigloo in ~ Brownie had finally calmed down ~ I think I may have seen him smoking a cigarette at one point ~ and all was good.

Now my Aunt was a teacher before she retired and she always said that little kids will tell you anything ~ she said she always knew exactly what was going on at home because they would come in and just spill their guts ~now these are just little kids so they really don't know you aren't supposed to tell everything that happens. We have run into this issue with Hunter here recently ~ not that he spilled some dark secret from around here or anything like that ~ we had the stranger danger talk with him which we obviously approached in the wrong way and managed to do nothing but scare the shit out the kid ~ totally freaked him out! We didn't say anything scary just told him he needed to be careful when playing out in the front and not to go near a car that he didn't know, etc. ~ apparently all he got from this was that he couldn't play outside anymore because of strangers ~ the next day at school he was spilling his guts to his teachers about the strangers at our house. When I picked him up that day his teachers were quite concerned and asked me about it and if we were okay ~ I then told the story of what really happened and cleared up the matter. Today when I picked him up his teacher came over to tell me about Hunter reliving the great guinea pig fight of '09 for her ~ all I could do was laugh and said yeah it was really more like nature, not a fight ~ she laughed and said yes, she had figured that out based on his description of the fight ~ I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that one! Like I said before I love the sweet sweet innocence of a 5 year old ~ if only they could stay so innocent forever!